Artemis Fowl Didn't Need To Go To School (Of Wings and Magical Things)
by MewSnowfire
Summary: A normal day in Fowl Manor... Until Ari Batchelder shows up to kidnap Artemis. Second Chapter is placed a month after the first. Set sometime between The Atlantis Complex and The Last Guardian. Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

'Kay, this is my first fanfic.

**IF ANYONE CAN EDIT THIS AND SHOW IT TO ME THEY GET AN AUTHOR'S APPRECIATION! IT IS A MULTI-PERSON JOB!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl or Maximum Ride…**

Chapter 1: Prologue

**3****rd**** Person POV**

"Arty? Arty!" Angeleine Fowl called down the stairs. She wanted her son so she could tell him she was felling better. Like a ghost, Artemis Fowl appeared at her door. He smiled his vampire smile. "Hello, Mother, are you well?" Angeleine groaned. Her son never spoke casually, always formal. "Yes, Arty, I am feeling better, and I would like to go out to a spa. Would you please get Juliet to get the car ready?"

This time it was Artemis who groaned. His mother was always going out to spas, and she liked ordering him around too. Reluctantly, he turned and glided out of the room. Finding Juliet Butler in the kitchen, he then returned to his study. _Finally,_ he thought, _time to think. I haven't had rest since the Atlantis Complex._

Artemis grimaced at this thought. Before he could remind himself of what the Atlantis Complex was, and he loved to remind himself, there was a whistle, a whistle that could only belong to a gun. Artemis Fowl slumped over, asleep on his desk.

Butler heard a whistle in his principal's study. He knew that whistle. It was a tranquilizer gun. He barged in the room only to find a man in a dark suit jump out the window with an Artemis-sized bag in his grip.

Outside there was a black van, with tinted windows. Butler pulled out his Sig Sauer and began shooting the ground in front of the man; he dared not shoot at him, as he could hurt Artemis.

The man moved onwards, and threw Artemis in the trunk. He turned and glanced one more time at Butler, and the bodyguard caught a glimpse of someone who was feared in his world. "Ari Batchelder…" Butler whispered. Of course a top-notch kidnapper would be sent. Butler watched as the van drove away, and cursed, unable to chase after. If he got out of Fowl Manor, he would still be too late to save his principal. Butler cursed again, and went to go find a search party.


	2. Chapter 2: Where Art Thou, Artemis?

SECOND CHAPTER, EVERYBODY! ARTEMIS IS AT THE SCHOOL! BUTLER TRIES TO FIND HIM!

Please, if anyone can edit this story and show it to me, I'd appreciate that. Stories are usually a multi-person project.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ARTEMIS FOWL OR MAXIMUM RIDE! (but I want to…)

Chapter 2: Where Art Thou, Artemis?Artemis's POV

Artemis pounded weakly on the iron bars of his cage. "Please…" he whispered, his voice hoarse from weeks of yelling, "let me go!" Artemis could not manage anything louder than a whisper, so his pleading was to no avail. The whitecoats wouldn't let him go.

His body trembling, Artemis curled up in the center of the dog carrier, his dark wings brushing against his back.

All one could hear from that cage was a small whimper.

{I AM A LINE BREAK BECAUSE SNOW CAN'T GET A PROPER ONE TO WORK}

Butler's POV

Butler stood in front of a monotone gray-brick government building, which was the _last_ place on his list that Artemis could have disappeared to. It had been a month now, since Artemis had disappeared from Fowl Manor. Butler sighed, coming out of his memories. He was only sad that they were bad ones. Butler raised his hand to knock on the strange iron door.

That door should have been his first warning.

A whistle sounded, so like the whistle on the day his principal had vanished, and a tranquilizer dart stuck in Butler's neck. He slumped onto the ground.

Ari Batchelder stood over him. "Come to find your little boy? Don't worry. You'll see him soon enough."

**{I AM ANOTHER LINE BREAK}**

Butler woke slowly. He tried to stand, but was blocked by something and couldn't get higher than his hands and knees. He felt around in the dark, and found iron bars. He was in a cage. A small light flickered on above him, and Butler looked around. There was a smaller cage next to him, and it too contained a person.

The bodyguard could not have been more surprised. The boy inside the cage looked so much like Artemis, with his suit and raven-black hair. Butler could not see the boy's face, as he was turned with his back to him, but Butler didn't need to. Artemis didn't have wings.

Indeed, the boy had long black wings jutting out of his back. Butler did not want to wake the boy; judging from the rise and fall of his chest, he was sleeping; but Butler needed to know where he was. He reached over and prodded the boy's wing. Suddenly the boy's breathing quickened, and he pushed himself up onto his knees. Then he turned to Butler.

The bodyguard found himself staring into familiar eyes, one brown, one blue. "Butler?" came a hoarse voice. "Is that you, old friend?"

End of chapter, everyone!

Dear God, why hasn't anybody reviewed? I would like some reviews please!

Artemis: You are obsessed with reviews.

Me: NO I'M NOT!

Artemis: Yes, you are.

Me: SHUT THE HECK UP ARTEMIS!

Artemis: Why should I?

Me: You'll see… :P


	3. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

**SORRY THIS ISN'T A CHAPTER! But I have to place a new rule in this fanfiction: A certain amount of reviews has to be reached before the next chapter is posted. No matter what Artemis says-**

**Artemis: You anticipated me.**

**Me: Yes I did. Anyway, no matter what he says, I am not obsessed with reviews, I just want feedback. I don't care if it's just you saying that I need to rewrite the whole thing, or if you have an idea you want to tell me, I JUST WANT SOME FEEDBACK!**

**Artemis: Surprisingly, I feel pity for you.**

**Me: Well, it's about time.**

**Tony Stark: When am I gonna get to talk?**

**Me: Tony, get back to your own fanfiction.**

**Tony: Fiiiiiiine.**

**Me: Oh, and by the way, I'm starting a new fanfiction soon. It's called Shining Guardians. That's where Tony comes in.**

**Artemis: You're going to quit on me, aren't you?**

**Me: For a little while…**

**Anyways, PLEASE REVIEW MORE! PLEASE! ONE REVIEW MADE BY MY LITTLE SISTER ISN'T SATISFYING!**

**See ya later! And hopefully I'll have more reviews then!**


	4. Chapter 3

**I IS BAAAAAACK!**

**Anyways, thanks to Yarnkit, I am back and posting one more chapter before I start getting my new fanfiction ready to post.**

**Artemis: Yes, thanks to Yarnkit. I am completely unimportant now.**

**Me: Shut up, Artemis.**

**Artemis: I wanted to know, what was that threat in Chapter 2?**

**Me: Oh, yeah… It was going to be a couple of things…**

**Artemis: What?**

**Me: Well, I could completely humiliate you… Oooh! I could tell Holly about your secret love of Lollipops!**

**Artemis: No! Don't do that!**

**Me: You could make it up to me by doing the disclaimer.**

**Artemis: Fine…**

**MewSnowfire does not own Artemis Fowl or Maximum Ride, nor any of the characters involved.**

**Holly's POV**

Holly Short was moping around LEP Headquarters. She was literally incapable of doing almost anything else, now that Artemis was gone. His disappearance had shaken her badly, and she was little more than a zombie.

She stumbled towards Foaly's lab, wanting some time with the centaur. Pushing open the darkened glass door, she mumbled a hello before looking up at the monitor.

Foaly was watching a surveillance video, with characters Holly could not make out. A dim light cast a small shadow on two cages. In those cages… _Were those Mud Men? _The thought jerked Holly out of her sorrow for a second. Two shapes huddled close to one another, their backs touching through the wire cages.

Holly looked at the date on the video. _July 12, 2014._ That video was from two weeks ago. "Foaly?" She began, uncertain of what Foaly might be doing. The centaur jumped and turned to the captain. "Holly? Seriously?" Holly snorted, and replied. "Yes, seriously, but what are you doing?"

The centaur sighed, and cast a glance at the monitor. "How long were you watching?" Then he shook his head, and sighed again. "If you were watching at all, I suppose it's time to tell you."

He took a deep breath. "Holly… I've been watching Artemis."

**Ooooooh, bit of a cliffie there! Yeah, sorry, but I couldn't write anymore, and that was a good place to end (sort of).**

**I won't be posting anymore of this story until I get the first chapter of The Shining Guardians up, sorry 'bout that.**

**As always, Time is a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff, and I appreciate reviews! Please Review! **

**Special thanks to Yarnkit for being the first person to review besides my sister who got on my account while I was asleep at the keyboard.**

**See you later!**

**A WILD SNEAK PEEK APPEARS!**

**Ah, crap.**

Firestar padded out of his den, looking around at his camp. Leafpool was in her den, treating Brambleclaw's bellyache. Sandstorm was patrolling the WindClan border, and Squirrelflight was on a hunting patrol. His family was doing their best for the Clan, and that made Firestar proud.

He leaped down from his den to the ground, the sandy soil settling around his paws.

Suddenly everything did not feel right. There was an electricity in the air, but a feeling of love and warmth came with this electricity, and that made Firestar uneasy.

He looked around for Leafpool, wondering if it was a sign from StarClan, when a vortex appeared.

Firestar gazed up at it, the rainbow colors flying from the hole fascinating him. He was so enraptured that he didn't notice Sandstorm running towards him from the tunnel.

"Firestar!" She yowled, but it was too late. Something darted out of the vortex and grabbed Firestar.

Sandstorm yowled and yowled, awakening the entire camp, as the vortex disappeared.

Leafpool darted up to her. "What's wrong?"

"Firestar is _gone!_"

… **That looks like a backstory for Firestar in The Shining Guardians. I won't tell what happens next, so you'll have to find out for yourself.**

**A WILD SNEAK-**

**(Claps a hand over the sneak peek) Not this time. You've already revealed something.**

**REVIEW! MEWSNOWFIRE OUT!**


	5. Chapter 4

**Yello, peeps! I'm not dead!**

**Yeah, yeah, sorry. To be honest, I was being lazy. And when I finally got around to writing this chapter, the internet was down and I had to rewrite it on my tablet. STUPID COMPUTER!**

**I have gotten some complaints that I didn't make things clear enough, like when Artemis got his wings. Do I really have to say again that Artemis was there for a month? I'm pretty sure that's enough time for those scientists. Anyway, the next few chapters should clear some things up, as they follow Artemis's time at the School.**

**I recently got addicted to Five Nights at Freddy's. Anyone else here like that?**

**...**

**Nope. I guess you want me to just get to the story. Fine. Here ya go.**

**I do not own Artemis Fowl or Maximum Ride.**

Pain.

For the longest time, that was all he could remember.

He couldn't even remember his own name.

Pain.

Each and every day (or was it years? Centuries? He couldn't keep track of time anymore...) those men came for him, causing him to scream and cry.

He knew he had once been... What was the word? Sophisticated? Well, he was going to be lucky if he was going to be the same again.

Something seemed wrong. His body didn't feel the same. It felt... Lighter. As if someone had injected his cells with air.

In the logical part of his mind, he knew that those men had done something to him, but he didn't know what.

Time passed, and slowly, ever so slowly, memories started to return. He still couldn't remember his name, but other things came back.

He could remember his life, or at least his life from age twelve onward. Fairies, the Book, rescuing his father, everything.

But he was still trapped in this wretched prison. Not even a criminal mastermind could escape this place without help.

He resigned to plot a way out, but he would need help from the other experiments.

But then the scientists came for him again. They dragged him to an operating room, where they strapped him in and injected something into his arm.

The pain came back, worse this time.

But if he was correct, and his reading skills were still intact, the syringe was labeled 'Avian DNA'.

**Hey, sorry this chapter is short, but I thought it would be a good place to stop.**

**If the way this chapter is written seems confusing, well, I tried to write it like it was a memory.**

**So, y'all, I'm gonna go start writing a chapter for my new fanfic! Artemis here is going to close out for me!**

**(runs away)**

**Artemis: ...**

**Artemis: Fine, Crystal, I'll do it. (picks up paper) Let's see... Hello, and welcome to Freddy Fazbear's... REALLY?! SERIOUSLY CRYSTAL?!**

**( I run back in)**

**Me: YEP! Well, if you really don't want to... Skip to the bottom.**

**(runs away)**

**Artemis: (skims to the bottom of the paper) If I'm reading this, then Crystal has either gone to play Five Nights at Freddy's or is writing more fanfictions. So in her place, I ask you to please Review! Crystal has placed a three-review-rule: For every three reviews, she will write another chapter!**

**(reads the next line)**

**Artemis: No. I am not going to say that.**

**(walks out of the room)**

**(I peek my head back in the room)**

**Me: PEACE OUT!**


End file.
